I remember when I was in high school. I used to have crushes galore. Id memorized their schedule religiously and make sure to be on the lookout during their break times and dismissals. Ideally you outgrow them, as you get older. Now for the life of me I can’t understand why during my early adult years, I have reverted back to having juvenile crushes. The kind that makes you smile uncontrollably even if you try so hard to suppress it. The kind that gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes you imagine that you and your man of the hour will have this fairy tale ending. Shit. Wasn’t I supposed to be cynical? Whatever happened to skepticism? And what, pray tell possessed me to be infatuated with this person? I am momentarily distressed as I am not the type to hide my feelings very well. My eyes say it all. I am so transparent that when you look at me, you’d know what I was thinking. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a good feeling. But isn’t it a little too late for that? To feel all giddy inside just because he talked to you. To go “kilig” just because he smiled at you when you passed by each other in the hallway. To go nuts over the tiniest things just because it came from him. I’m too old to have a crush! Can somebody give me a good smack in the head?
I know this will not turn out too good in the end. Don’t ask why. I just know. But still, I give in to the feeling. God help me.
